Over my nearly 30 years in the adult business, I’ve met dozens of girls looking to break into adult who have come to me for advice. Either they were recommended by someone who knows me, decided to move to Los Angeles from somewhere else and got my name, found me on-line and e-mailed me to get a meeting or in many cases, came from Philadelphia and because that’s where I started, felt a connection.
My first order of business when a girl says she wants to enter the adult world is to try and talk her out of it. Too many young women think doing porn is an easy fix and many more are doing it for the wrong reason. Usually, it’s quick money. Debt…..school payments….lost job…..boyfriend threw her out……parents threw her out…….
Obviously, girls think they can easy money very quickly. Shoot and get paid and have some cash. Well, I am not sure how easy it is.
I always try and explain that entering porn is a life-changing decision…..one that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. One someone performs in one sex scene, and they’ve signed that release, it exists for eternity. Year ago, a scene would appear only on a VHS tape or DVD. Today, with internet, it lives forever. Girls who are 18, 19, or 20 are not always capable of making decisions today which will affect them for the rest of their lives. It’s like getting that large tattoo on your back. You may hate it ten years from now, but you own it. Only with porn, after you exit the business in two, three of even, ten years from now, you have your whole life to look forward to, and these scenes live forever. And often, they will haunt you.
Once a girl tells me that they are fine with making a decision like this at 18, I ask them if they ever plan to have a family, get married or enter another career. If they say yes (all of them do say yes to at least one of those three questions), I remind them that while porn is now an acceptable career choice for some, most of the population frowns upon those who perform sex on film. That’s not to say society is correct, but this is the reality. And while people are hypocrites, those who perform in porn have to live with it.
Further, while guys are cool with porn and most watch it, few men (“civilians” as we call them) want to marry a porn star. We simply have not evolved as a culture to the point where most people view sex as simply sex. So girls will wear that Scarlet ‘P” on their chests for most of their lives.
But if we get past those road blocks, I tell the aspiring porn star that the next important thing is to take control of their career from day one. Do not seem desperate and do not take any old job without first researching and learning what you are doing.
There are many fine agents out there but not all are fine and girls need to understand what they are doing, who they are doing it with and how much they are getting paid……before they sign on to do a scene. Know the producers, ask questions of other girls, pick an agent that won’t force you into something that you don’t want to do and DO NOT work with anyone you are not comfortable with. And get your rate. No bait and switch…..when you get to the set, if it is not what you signed on for, do not let them pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
Richard Avery covers contracts in another blog but I agree with him 100% so please read that as well. And by all means, pace yourselves!!!!
Courtesy of
Paul Fishbein
Founder, AVN Media Network
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