Becoming FemDom

pslc_smartThe original concept for this article was “Stop being such a bitch.  It doesn’t make you a Dominatrix.”  Maybe that’s still my main point.  This advice is given freely and based on my own experience.  Other people will have different ways of achieving their goals.  Here is what works for me.  I am often asked by women, “How can I become a Dominatrix?”  I became a Dominatrix because I am a top.  I am a fucker.  A molester.  A rapist.  A sadist.  I’m also very a very loving and caring person.  I think being a great top is a better goal than a great Dominatrix.  They can be but are not mutually exclusive. In my past, I received formal training in a BDSM setting to become a top and also a Dominatrix.  I hope you can benefit from what I have learned.

In order to become, you have to connect with your true will.  This is an arduous process that can take years.  Let’s take a look at some of the main tenets of this philosophy.  For a first point, let go of self-consciousness and embrace self-awareness.  Do not let your flaws eat away at your confidence.  Instead, recognize them.  Humbly place them on the sacrificial altar of your self.  Inhabit yourself.  Your flaws may fuck you today and serve you tomorrow.  If you see something about yourself and upon analysis realize that it does not serve you well, eradicate it.  You belong to you.  How can you hope to control and correct others if you have not that power over yourself?  Self-control is paramount.  You must wear yourself like an onion.  Peeling back the layers to expose the part that is most suited for your current situation.  If you look inside yourself and discover that there is a monster under your bed, do not spit in its face.  Love and nurture your monster.  It will not go away.  Monsters do not appreciate being spit upon.  Self-deprecation without catharsis breeds self-destruction.

Another thing that can hold you back is your reliance on material items for social status identification.  All the shiny toys in the world will not make you a great top if you are rotten under the silver paint.  Things are a shield we use to define and separate ourselves from others.  Things are in your way.  To be a great top, you must have extreme empathy for others.  We do not have to ask the bottom how they are feeling.  We already know.  Turn your empathy knob all the way up and break it off.  One way of developing empathy is to have the experiences you require of a bottom.  This can be a difficult undertaking as it can come into direct opposition with the most important point of being a top/Dominatrix: Always enjoy yourself.  So, if you do decide to sub for the experience of it, be sure it is in a setting that works for you.

All that being said, I fuck it up all the time.  My monster is so hungry for blood that she’ll kill the cook if the food isn’t ready fast enough sometimes.  I love her any way.  My inner monster is made of fire.  That fire fuels my passion which is the source of my love and loyalty, two qualities I relish.  The important thing is that when I fuck it up, I try to learn from my mistakes instead of acting out in anger.  Being worshipped means being worthy of worship.  I try not to be a bitch, even though I am a Dominatrix.

 

By | 2016-10-15T06:18:52+00:00 June 7th, 2012|Featured, Smart|4 Comments
  • Wondergal

    This is absolutely some of the best advice I’ve heard. I read it not as how to be a domme (great advice on that btw ;-) ) but how best to live your life. Great site. Great advice. Best to you in this new endeavor.

  • This was so well-written, Aiden. As a top who is in his first few years of learning, so much of this rang true and made sense instantly. Thank you for writing this, truly.

  • Sandra_Dee

    Totally agree with the last two comments, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Keep up the great work folks. Great Site and Great Advise!! Kudos!!

  • Baileybluexxx

    Impressive article! Well written and very informative..

    Thanks for the advice
    xxx