pslc_adviceKink’s not like working for your regular nine to five. Most jobs don’t require you to know the difference between sadism and masochism and apply use of that knowledge on a daily basis. Maybe you learned how to tie knots in the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, but trust me, you’re going to need a refresher for all the rope work we do here.

Maybe your regular nine to five is working in the regular boy/girl grind of porn. Unlike many other fetish companies and sites, Kink’s built its brand name on people who are into their jobs. That porn star who you know is in it because she’s sure her boyfriend’s band (which is a fusion of Creed and The Spin Doctors, and is probably why they are, as of yet, unknown) is about to get signed at any moment? Yeah, she definitely wouldn’t work at Kink.

Kink’s a place for kinksters — and if you’ve ever thought about seeking employment, here’s five basic rules for working with the company.

1. Know the lingo.
Remember what I wrote about sadism and masochism? I wasn’t kidding. Everything Kink shoots revolves around the Dominant/submissive dynamic. If you’re not sure about which is the S and which is the M, I strongly suggest you crack open a book or at the very least do a Google search.

Then there’s all the fetishes to be aware of. Just because your sub is into bondage doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is into corporal punishment or electrical toys. Likewise, a Dom may be good at administering punishment, but he or she may a complete newbie to securing them with a length of rope.

Which brings us to our next topic…

2. Details are important.
One of the most beautiful and complicated forms of bondage is from Japan. It’s called shibari — you’ve probably seen it, but you might have not known what it was called. Originally used by the samurai to bind captured enemies, shibari has evolved into a complicated form of rope play that’s a highly sought after skill in the BDSM world.

It’s a good analogy for fetishes as a whole. It’s very specialized and very detail-oriented. Fans of cuckolding want to see one of the significant others of a couple humiliating the other SO while they’re getting fucked. They want them to go into how unsatisfying they are and force the other in a situation where they have to accept their new role as being subservient to their new lover.

3. Fetishes are a simple thing. Fetishes are a complicated thing. 
The worst kinds of scenes are predictable scenes. You’ve probably seen them — shot in dungeons, over and over again. The more creative you can get, the better. Let’s return to that cuckolding scenario again. The cuckolding could take place during a gangbang. It could take place on a one-on-one scene. The person being cuckolded does not even necessarily need to be there — mobile phones and videochatting have added a new dimension to the kink.

But keep in mind that there are rules that need to be followed. Bondage scenes involve bondage and restraint. If there’s S/m, then there needs to be punishment for consequences the sub’s put themselves in.

People who are into a particular kink know what they want to see. As much as the scenario can deviate from what they expect, what’s actually delivered in the scene needs to fall within their expectations. That’s what makes it a kink, after all.

4. Good Doms know to get into the heads of their subs.
Being a Dom is a lot like being a psychologist. You need to know what the behavior is of your sub. You need to know their fears, their desires, their wants and their needs and play with all of those conflicting emotions. Most importantly, you need to know when you can push them over the edge and when you should reel them back in.

It’s a very complicated job title. I’ve said it before and I’ll said it again — the best Doms have always started out as subs. A Dom needs to know the difference between causing the kind of pain the sub wants and the kind of hurt that will scar the sub. It’s not unlike walking a tightwire.

5. Good subs clearly state what their limits are.
If you’re a sub, you should sit down and write down an evaluation of what really turns you on. It’s important that you’re honest with yourself about this, and not allow yourself to be influenced by what you think you are or what other people think you are.

Then, write down the fetishes you’d like to explore. Again, be honest. Finally, write down the things you’d never do. This is probably the most important thing you’ll write down.

Once you’re finally in a scene — in something you either want to do or want to explore — discuss your safeword. The default is usually “Red.” Use the word if you need to. There’s no shame in admitting something is too painful.

JOIN Bobbi Starr at